A Dancer Who Writes
Foreign Correspondent
Just past this bench is a hidden cove occupied by a strange group of students prone to sudden displays of dancing. Photo: A Dancer Who Writes/The Monologue
World famous explorer Lester Limon has discovered after a grand expedition that there are in fact two secret colonies at George Brown College (GBC) in the form of the performing arts department. The department is divided into two sub-departments: the musical theatre program and the dance stream.
After digging through the rubble of the lost city of Atlantis, a mysterious map written in an unknown language was found. After ten years of deciphering the map, it was found to lead to the Young Centre for the Performing Arts in the Distillery district in Toronto. In this theatre far from campus civilization, future starving artists are hidden from the world in their own personal dome.
The students were not easily found, though. Limon and his crew scoured the building using sound detectors and dusting for fingerprints. Eventually, they heard music coming from above their heads. They found a hidden staircase and located the musical theatre department’s secret headquarters tucked away in the ceiling.
Limon said, “I found the students singing a strange song accompanied by ritualistic dancing. I suspect that it is some sort of condo summoning ritual, but I am not quite sure.”
The dance stream was uncovered in the basement of the Casa Loma campus after a girl in a leotard and tights was spotted near the water fountain next to the gym. This garnered a lot of attention from the plumbing and construction students who followed her to the mysterious dance alcove. Plumbing student Richard Fleming called Limon to request he come and investigate the new found land.
“It was one of the single most terrifying experiences of my life,” Limon says, “the floors were littered with hair and bobby pins, there was no window to the outside world in sight and the stench of point shoes and sweat was pungent. I vow solemnly to never return!”
In terms of their culture, Limon describes his observations as so, “they dance all day and when they are not dancing they seem to go into some sort of inebriated state in which they chug coffee and protein shakes in an attempt to stay sane.”
Some people thought the performing arts department was a myth and some never heard the tale. Now that all has been revealed here, perhaps it would have been better had no one known the truth.
Limon says as a final word of advice to anyone thinking of exploring the depths of the musical theatre or dance sectors of GBC, “stay away from them! All artists are crackpots!”
Editor’s Note: The Monologue is the satire issue of The Dialog. All content in this issue is intended as satire or humorous commentary and makes no claim to be accurate, factual, or truthful. Please don’t sue us.
