Pee Pee S.
Sad International Student
Upon hearing that thier tuition was cut in half international students broke out in traditional dancing to celebrate.
Photo: Pee Pee S./The Monologue
In a groundbreaking decision, George Brown College (GBC) announced a massive 50 per cent decrease in international students’ tuition fee starting this fall.
Students paying $14,000 for a two semester certificate course will now be paying only $7,000.
According to internal reports, this announcement has been made after the college saw a decline in number of international students on campus.
“We had to make this decision when local students started being seen more often on campus than international students. That was an indication that they were no longer interested in our college,” said Johnny Potter, director of international admissions.
Intensive research worth $2 million was carried out by the international office at GBC. Experts from China, India, America, and Russia were hired to find out the reason for this trend.
V. Poutine, Russian expert for international affairs, said at a press conference held at St. James campus patio, “The reason for this shortfall in international students at GBC was because we were not sending enough students from back home to invade the country’s colleges.”
American expert, Crack Orama completely disagreed with Poutine’s comment and condemned it. He stated that high tuition fees for international students were the sole reason for the decrease in their numbers.
Indian and Chinese experts remained silent on the issue and were not available to comment.
Based on the suggestion from Orama, GBC decided to slash the fee in half on a trial basis; they are willing to slash it even further if this move does not attract more students.
International students are rejoicing. Dani Happy, 22, an international student from the Vatican City said, “I am really happy. Now I don’t have to ask the Pope for any money to fund my tuition.”
Not everyone has taken the decision well. Pallika Hindustani, a student from Pakistan studying journalism at GBC, said, “What the fuck! I was so happy paying such high tuition fee every year, I felt special that way. My student loan back home is taking care of all my expenses in Canada, so I don’t have to worry yet.”
Immigration Canada also dislikes the idea of slashing the fee stating that it will increase the influx of immigrants in the country, which would further increase their work load.
“It’s already a lot of work, we don’t want to put in extra hours unnecessarily. We have a life too.” said Robert Migrant, manager at Immigration Canada.
The decision to cut the international student fee has generated mixed reactions so far, but don’t be surprised if you see more international heads in GBC this fall.
Editor’s Note: The Monologue is the satire issue of The Dialog. All content in this issue is intended as satire or humorous commentary and makes no claim to be accurate, factual, or truthful. Please don’t sue us.
