I thought an abusive relationship couldn’t happen to me

Photo: TheLampNYCCC BY-NC-ND 2.

Photo: TheLampNYC CC BY-NC-ND 2.

Love has a funny way of consuming your existence. Sometimes it makes you feel things and do things that you don’t want. It’s hard to get out of an abusive relationship – I’ll tell you that firsthand.

“When I think of love, I think of natural protection, kindness, best friends and trust,” says my best friend, a 22 year-old model, who has requested to remain anonymous.

For the longest time I also thought like that, painting a picture of a perfect relationship in my head. It’s hard to imagine yourself being constantly confronted by sadness, being so consumed by it, but you still stay.

I remember the day my ex-boyfriend came into my life, the look on his face, and his smile. That charm that presented itself through the tone of his voice, the spell he had me under.

I experienced something I never thought I would, and now I refuse to think that it could never happen to me.

“The last time he hurt me physically, I called the police,” said my friend about her only way out. “After that he wasn’t legally allowed to go near me.”

As for me, I had reached a point in my relationship where I would’ve done anything, as my kindness was mistaken for weakness. I had reached my limit as far as caring was concerned before I realized it was time to leave.

What is it that holds you back when you’re trying to leave, when the situation seems endless?

My friend said, “I realized that I had to have more self-worth, I had to not be so naive with situations. I realized that when you see the first sign that something must be wrong, you need to trust your instincts.”

Isn’t it strange how one simple mistake can impact the rest of your life and how that one mistake can impact your relationships with your friends and family?

Nothing is more powerful than knowledge. Whether good or bad; it’s the choices you make with this knowledge that tests the inner strength that shapes who you are.

Now thinking of my ex has become the struggle, and our time together seems like decades ago. Though he continues to fade into the past, the mark he left lingers.


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I thought an abusive relationship couldn’t happen to me