It’s… a published VR game.
Have you ever wanted to play Doodle Jump in virtual reality (VR)?
Since your answer is probably no, it’s prudent to point out that at least one person at game developer Field of Vision thought that the smartphone game – created eons ago – was something the VR market wanted.
How else would one explain the existence of Jacked Up – released into early access Aug. 14.
Playing essentially how you might expect if you’re familiar with the aforementioned phone game, you’ll take on the role of a narcissistic, gym obsessed rabbit, whose goal is to keep jumping higher.
Now you may be wondering about the adjectives used above. For instance, why is the rabbit a narcissist; what makes them gym obsessed? Well, in addition to your characters’ need to jump around ever-changing settings, you’re also a douchebag “gym bro” who has the incessant need to hold your phone out and “stream” your jump with your “social media fans.”
Now this is all fake and only in the game – unless of course you share actual game footage on social media – but the phone is really just an extra layer to a game which is already thin on viable content.
There isn’t a lot to talk about with this game, so let’s just jump into breaking down what you can expect, starting with graphics.
You shouldn’t be writing home about the quality of work here, with things looking blocky and barely a step above low resolution. If you’re not in one of the “gyms” which are used as locales for breathers and upgrades to your character, you’re moving around the platforms as you keep jumping up. When you’re jumping, you’ll be treated to a view of a fake sky, while the set platforms and obstacles in your path change the difficulty as you go higher.
When you’re in the gym, you’ll see a very basic and low-quality space – which is full of non-playable characters who talk like the d-bags they are modeled after – as well as the opportunity to purchase upgrades (both cosmetic and game altering). You’ll also have the chance to take on tasks which can alter your gameplay – such as being weighed down more.
Since we’ve basically started talking about the gameplay – and since there’s not much more to talk about graphically since they’re middling-at-best in this title – we’ll move onto that.
You move around with the left thumbstick and you can interact with your fake phone to keep driving up your audience via the ‘A’ button. If you use the right thumbstick to turn, you’ll be able to do that via snap turning. To put on a hat, take on a challenge, or move onto the next area, just use your arm and basically karate chop or punch a button.
Again, beyond that there’s not much to the game.
Let’s just be honest here, this game is low quality slop that is barely worth a fraction of the $10 asking price. This is a very shallow experience which is devoid of any real reason to keep coming back – unless of course you have an obsessive compulsion to become the best on the leaderboards. The gameplay gets boring quick, and the added aspects – challenges, social media, etc. – are just there to cater to a generation of simpletons who have grown far too obsessed with their devices and the society destroying scourge that is social media.
They’re also there to add any extra weight to a game that’s so light on content, a duck fart could blast it off into space.
Overall Jacked Up is a game that is not worth anyone’s time and can only be described as a waste of money. It’s not a fun experience and there’s nothing to entertain anyone with an attention span – or taste. At a price of $10 in early access Jacked Up is overpriced by about $10… anyone buying this is either a child or has a lot of disposable income. If you fall into the latter group then you really must enjoy wasting money because there are better things on which to waste your money – one might suggest donating to the Hospital for Sick Children, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, or even lighting it on fire.
For those who are considering buying this game, don’t.
Jacked Up, was reviewed on the Quest 3 after receiving a post-launch key.
