Ramadan is a mandatory observance for Muslims whereby individuals are expected to fast from sunrise to sunset over the course of a month. And no, even water isn’t allowed. 

The month, as it is a time when blessings are said to be multiplied, is meant to be a period of reconnecting with one’s spirituality, engaging in charitable actions and focusing on the worship of God through prayer and recitation of the Quran. Ramadan concludes with a communal celebration of Eid-al-Fitr.  

However, Muslim students are still expected to meet the demands of school and work alongside their religious duties. This year, Ramadan began in Spring, leaving many to write exams without any food or drink.  

I’ll admit, it has been a struggle for me.  

I write this as I sit at the desk right next to my bed, my makeshift work station.  

The temptation to go back to sleep or grab a snack is tempting enough as it is on a daily basis because of the pandemic, but fasting has added another layer to that.  

When you’re fasting, you are so incredibly tired all the time.  

Since we cannot eat past sunrise, many of us get up right before it to chug some water and scarf down a samosa or two. This happens somewhere between four or five in the morning. Normally we would perform prayers at this time anyway, but the difference between doing a five-minute prayer and going back to sleep versus sitting down to eat for half an hour wreaks havoc on your typical sleep cycle. 

Groggy, unmotivated and hungry, I get up in the morning and have to start my day just as all my other classmates do. 

Some individuals find that their focus improves and that they’re more productive during this month, but that is certainly not the case for me and many others. We slip up and miss out on silly things we normally wouldn’t, process things slowly and are in a constant state of brain fog. 

My family and I spent most of our time sleeping the days away when Ramadan fell in the summer for the past few years. But not this time.  

All throughout elementary school, high school and my post-secondary journey, this fatigue was easier to shake off.  

You’re occupied by the conversations with your friends after class, by the nervousness you feel setting up your desk for a test, or with running for the bus you missed. Whether you’re thinking about the cute guy from across the room in your Monday lectures, or stressing out over a group project, you’re forced to stay awake and focused.   

The lack of stimulation, so to speak, that we have now compared before COVID has been mind-numbing and frankly unmotivating, making the process of fasting that much more agonizing.  

As I’m in my final semester and have already completed my practicum, I only have three classes, two of which are online. I haven’t met a single one of my coworkers in-person this past year as all of us at the Dialog have been working remotely.  

With nothing but my laptop to talk to most of the time, the exhaustion takes that much more of a toll on you. And the apathy that we as a college have collectively experienced while learning virtually is just that much stronger when you’re tired.  

Not even the familiar excitement over Eid is encouraging, as dressing up in pretty sarees for large family gatherings and eating together are no longer. 

It’s a shame, really. I do enjoy my work and my studies, so I didn’t expect this to take as much of an emotional toll on me as it has.  

Ramadan never bothered me much in the past, nor did virtual learning – but those things plus the pandemic make a terrible combination.