Lara Tai
Reporter-Editor
Toronto is a thriving city with many robust and active people and so many people are out having dates. What about negative behaviors that happen in our dating culture? I recently watched Sex Education at new Netflix series online… well at least the first episode and was enthralled at how much people are having sex in a day and slightly saddened at how sex is coming to the forefront of how we socialize.
There is a growing hook up culture now. It seems like people will meet have sex and then get their business cards after to remember their partner’s name keeping their instagram handles protected dare they need more info on you. Scandalous or practical? People are giving verbal disclaimer’s before sex thinking as long as they tell them that they are not looking for anything serious is enough to differ someone getting emotionally attached after sex. Really? Well if only sex was as simple as ordering a fat juicy burger. Satisfying the moment you had it but then feeling sick shortly after because you had it so fast and then regretting the whole decision you got it in the first place.
Moving on to the tactic of Negging. What’s Negging? Well some dating coaches are starting to promote this tactic of people verbally putting down perspective partners. They are embedding an insult in their pick up lines to person they are trying to pick up to break down their confidence so they will be open to having sex. An example is “You smell nice like roses, it’s too bad I am allergic to flowers” or “Well, don’t you look fabulous? I would never have the courage to wear my hair like that.” I hope you are having a revelation right now especially if you have found yourself not feeling well after a conversation at the local pub with that cool hottie whilst you feel like trash. Don’t close the paper in shock. Keep the paper open and read on my friend!
When I talked to students on campus there was a strong experience of a lack of connection “People talk at me that to me. I guess people think I a pretty and think I am a negative person based on that” Noelle Alumni GBC. I also remember when I was on dating apps I had men wanting me to submit my photo and details via text messaging and I felt I was in an audition or job interview with no real engagement in our phone conversations and not even one meet up before them lowering a battle ax and I was done and eliminated before we went on one date.
Another thing that is happening in relationships is codependency “Sometime the other person doesn’t listen. I don’t like clinginess it gets overbearing. [Always needing to be together. ] Like we don’t have a break]” DaVaughan GBC student and artist.High Anxiety, Need approval and self defeating thoughts are traits in your partner that can lead to codependency as stated by The Recovery Village.
If you feel you are in a toxic relationship.Learning how to set boundaries.
Seeking fulfillment as an individual, rather than being dependent on others. Creating distance from codependent relationships
Seeking support from others close to you, not just codependent individual.
Have you detecting some of these tactics and traits in your relationships or interactions?
