2019 Love and Sex Survey Results

279 people answered The Dialog’s 2019 Love and Sex Survey

What is more important to you: love or sex?

  • 54 per cent of poeple said both love and sex are equally important to them.
  • 37 per cent said love was more important.
  • Eight per cent said they were in it for the sex.
  • “For me, sex is an expression of my love for my partner. The chemistry makeup of love and sexual compatibility are important factors that work together. That being said, love can enhance sex whereas sex cannot make love greater.”
  • “Being loved is nice but boning is pretty awesome too.”

Who’s having better sex?

  • 57 per cent of women report having an amazing sex life, while only 41 per cent of men can say the same.

How long do you wait before having sex?

  • 33 per cent of men said they would have sex on their first date compared to 29 per cent of women. 
  • 22 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women said they would have sex after two or three dates.
  • Seven per cent of women and one per cent of men say they are saving it for marriage. 

Who cheats on their partners the most?

  • 33 per cent of women report cheating on their partners and 18 per cent say they would never do it again.
  • Meanwhile, 26 per cent of men have cheated and only 9 per cent say they would never do it again.

Men aren’t as confident in their ability to make their partner’s reach orgasm as women. 

How likely is it that your partner has an orgasm with you?

  • “I pride myself in giving my partners at least two orgasms for each of mine.”
  • “It’s not common to find a guy who knows how women orgasm and how to get a woman to orgasm.”
  • “Don’t know, don’t care.”

Favourite sex toys

  • Vibrators are enjoyed by 71 per cent of women and 57 per cent of men.
  • 57 per cent of people use dildos and 45 per cent use handcuffs.

Sex in public 

  • 47 per cent of people have had sex in a public space.
  • 31 per cent masturbated in public.

Dressing Up

  • 24 per cent of people report dressing up in a costume during sex. Among those asked, five per cent have worn candy underwear and five per cent decorated their genitals.

The growing film industry

  • 26 per cent of people have made their own porn.

Driver’s Head

  • 26 per cent of people had oral sex while driving.

Have you ever?

  • Nine per cent of people had been double-penetrated.
  • 12 per cent of people have had a foursome.
  • 12 per cent of people have fisted someone or been fisted.
  • 36 per cent of people have had sex with a stranger. 
  • 45 per cent of people had dominated or submitted to someone.
  • 51 per cent of people had your ass fingered or fingered someone’s ass.
  • 44 per cent of peopled had been tied up or tied someone up.
  • 74 per cent of people had sexted someone.

How was your first sexual experience?

  • “Amazing! My balls really hurt after though.”
  • “The way God intended it to be- awkward and leaves you questioning everything you know.”
  • “I didn’t classify it as sex at the time. I was with another female friend and thought sex was “penis into vagina” penetration. (I) have ave since redefined my definitions.”
  • “Thank u, next!”

Would you consider an open relationship (where you / your partner saw more than one person)?

  • ‘I literally want to remove anyone who even breathes in his direction- share him? Hell nah.”
  • “My partner and I have discussed it and we’d both be open to trying it if it’s what the other wanted. It would require *tons* of open conversations before and during and a lot of work on jealousy. I love my partner deeply and wouldn’t be willing to end the relationship if they wanted to open it up.”
  • “Depending on the circumstance, but I’m currently in one because my partner and I are in a very long distance relationship. In order to avoid the sexual frustration that comes with the long periods of time when we don’t see each other, we both see other people on the side. Simply to satisfy a physical need, not an emotional one.”

Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

  • “We had been together for 4 years. We were at a birthday party. I got very drunk and was flirting with this guy. We kissed. My partner said it was fine; he didn’t even get mad until I forced him to.”
  • “My girlfriend kissed another guy when she was drunk.”
  • “Needed more sex, found it while husbands traveled.”
  • “Lack of communication, being shut down and not appreciated, feeling insecure led me to cheat on my partner.”

Can a person who is extremely intoxicated give consent?

  • “Categorically no. A little tipsy? Maybe. An extremely intoxicated person is not in the right frame of mind to know what they want and communicate it properly. I have had sex while I was extremely intoxicated. The times I can remember are traumatic and I wish they had not happened.”
  • “I don’t do drunk people.”
  • “If a person is inebriated they can not give consent. If they will not remember their actions they can not give consent. If they are a minor they can not give consent. If they can not talk or give a clear answer they can not give consent.”

Does someone need to say “yes” to consent?

  • “Yes means proceed, no means NO.”
  • “The word “yes” doesn’t need to come out of their mouth, necessarily. You can say yes with your body language. But especially if it’s with a newer partner, it’s a good idea to ask lots of questions about boundaries. “Is this good?”, “Can I ___?”, etc.”
  • Kissing is not consent. It should be a clear yes. Also that yes can change to a no! Make sure your partner is consenting the entire time! Ask ask ask ask ask ALWAYS ask for consent.”

Can someone withdraw consent at any time?

  • “If you are uncomfortable, then you are allowed to say stop.”
  • “You can start having sex with someone and change your mind. It happens literally all the time. No one should have to go through with something they are not comfortable with even if they intended to go all the way.”
  • “No one is obligated to have sex if they don’t want to. Whether they decide before it starts, or halfway through.”
  • “Have you ever taken a bite of food and then realized you don’t want to keep eating? Same idea.”

If you or your partner got pregnant what would you do?

  • 26 per cent of people said they would have a kid.
  • 33 per cent said they would have an abortion.
  • 36 per cent of people said they would talk with their partner about what to do. 
  • “We would have bigger things to discuss than what to do with the child, because that would mean one of us had sex with a dude.”
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2019 Love and Sex Survey Results