Ladies first: A story about making the first move

Lauren Raquel shares her opinion on why women shouldn’t be afraid to make the first step towards a new relationship

Lauren Raquel, a special events planning student. Photo: Yulia Prisyazhnaya/The Dialog

Lauren Raquel, a special events planning student.
Photo: Yulia Prisyazhnaya/The Dialog

What happens when a man doesn’t approach a woman he is interested in or doesn’t make the first move? Should women just stand by and hope that “Mr. Right” will come to their doorstep? One student has her own story.

“Many women today are expecting men to approach them, when men themselves know of this concept,” said Lauren Raquel, a special events planning student at George Brown College (GBC). “Men are beginning to feel pressured, when women are easily gliding through compliment after compliment.”
Raquel also says that, “this is when the ideology of guys making the first move comes to an end,” and that now it’s the woman’s turn to make the first move if she is interested.
Having met her boyfriend John at a mutual friend’s birthday, she said that “the moment I met him we connected instantly, it’s as if the stars were aligning.” After the party she could not stop thinking about him and instead of waiting for him to add her on Facebook, she decided to make the first move and add him.
“This story gets even crazier,” said Raquel. “I already had John as a friend on Facebook, and this was when we began to speak.”They were very similar. They liked and enjoyed the same things, but there were some obstacles to their relationship at the time.

“John and I had a confusing path to our unfolding relationship,” said Raquel. “We were hooking up only when we were intoxicated, and even hooking up with other people (only me not him), but we knew we liked each other but we never officially said we were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

They had never discussed what they felt for each other, but they knew.”I was beginning to get fed up with the hooking up and the confusion. We were stuck in some limbo where I did not know what to call him,” said Raquel, wondering if she should she call him her boyfriend, friends with benefits, or just a friend. She needed to know.

In the summer of 2010, they went to the beach with friends.”We were alone together, and sober, and our friends were running around in the sand. John and I were just talking and cracking jokes,” said Raquel, who then made the first move. “I leaned in for a first ‘sober’ kiss.”

As of today the couple has been together for four years. They live together, travel together, and even have a dog.
Women can’t always expect the guy to read between the lines even when theycan’t be any more affectionate.”We need that extra push to get things done, and done right,” said Raquel. “Women need to create a new ideology, that women need to make the first move as well.”

Making the first move shows that women can get something out of any situation, even approaching Mr. Right.

This account represents the perspective of one student and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of The Dialog.


Ladies first: A story about making the first move