In the spirit of figuring out the amazing, so those moves can be perfected, we encourage every one of y’all to get to know and explore your bodies so you can find out what you find pleasurable!

By Alisha Riley, Courtney Niven & Mary-Grace Falvo
Dialog Sex columnists
 

Each of our bodies is unique and will have diverse reactions to different touches and sensations. What feels amazing for one, might feel just ‘meh’ to another or worse, could be downright painful. In the spirit of figuring out the amazing, so those moves can be perfected, we encourage every one of y’all to get to know and explore your bodies so you can find out what you find pleasurable!

Alisha: For many women, myself included, sex does not end with the big “O”. This is not to say that one cannot enjoy sex, and have a great fucking time during all activities involved. There could be a variety of reasons why someone may not reach orgasm, for example, I haven’t finished when I have been too drunk, when my toes got sucked on, when I was bored, when there was lack of an emotional connection, when I was exhausted, when an unexpected thumb went up my bum, when communication sucked, etc.

With the exception of the times when I was bored, I still had a lot of fun and got a great story to share. Of course it would be great to have an orgasm every sack-session, but I figure that’s what my 20’s are for – discovering my likes and dislikes, what works and doesn’t work, how to navigate my sexuality and establish boundaries I am comfortable with and how to communicate my desires with my partners. So if you aren’t reaching orgasm, let yourself off the hook and enjoy the ride!

Mary-Grace: For me, oral and orgasms go together like Jackie Robinson and baseball. My partner and I have got that shit on lock. I know what I like and how I like it, and my partner is swell at applying that learning. Foreplay for sex, during sex, as a random act of kindness in the kitchen, no sex attached, it’s brilliant. I also know the positions where I can effectively reach orgasm during sex and I know which positions will make my partner come harder, better, faster, stronger.

All that said, my favourite position, as in the one I sensationally enjoy the most, is not the same one that makes me come most often. I chalk this up to one of the many reasons why vulva’s are fucking amazing; there are so many nerve endings. And fyi, they’re not all located in the clit. Adventure time? Especially with the winter school term coming to an end – sex celebrations will certainly be my priority.

Courtney: The reality of multiple orgasms and orgasming in different ways is absolutely beautiful and satisfying. Have you ever explored the different ways you may be able to orgasm? I can only speak from vulva-specific orgasming, but holy fuck to exploring, y’all. First of all, the clitoral orgasm – this can be achieved via clitoral stimulation, who woulda thought? Sometimes the clit is exceptionally sensitive, so either directly rubbing your clit will stimulate, but also rolling your clit between two fingers and stimulating the area around is incredibly satisfying.

Then there’s the mysterious g-spot orgasm – I suggest googling and checking out all the controversy and history surrounding this super pleasurable spot. Not everyone has a g-spot in the way that it is generally spoken about, but you can search for yours by putting your fingers inside your vagina and doing the “come here” motion – you may find your fingers hitting a ridged spot. If you continue pressing this spot you may have an incredible body orgasm – try clenching your vaginal walls when fucking yourself this way and the feeling may heighten tenfold.

Finally, squirting/female ejaculation/not peeing – there seems to be so many mixed messages being sent and received surrounding squirting, but let me assure you, research shows that female ejaculate is not comprised of the same makeup as urine – instead it is closer to the makeup of water. Squirting is a fun way of coming that is not necessarily traditionally defined as having an orgasm – but I think that term is very subjective and looks different for everyone.

Explore each other and yourself – it’s fucking fun!

Remember; email us your questions and/or comments at dialogsex@gmail.com