Ménage à Trois: “Tits & Answers”

By Alisha Riley, Courtney Niven & Mary-Grace Falvo 
DIALOG SEX COLUMNISTS

 

We just wanted to let y’all know that all of these answers are coming from our places of privilege and personal preference. Your experiences, thoughts and feelings in relation to these questions are going to be different; they might be similar but regardless, always completely valid.

 

“Is body-scaping a factor in choosing a sexual partner?” – Professor XXX 

Mary-Grace: Honestly, I don’t want anyone telling me how or how not to “scape” my body. If you don’t like it, you can fuck off. That said, I certainly won’t complain about a trimmed pubic area. Getting pubic hair stuck in my teeth has never been high on my list of super-fun happenings.

Alisha: I tend to keep my body hair trimmed or groomed—on weekends—so I tend to like a man who is also groomed or trimmed. I think hair is natural and can be really sexy, but similar to MG, I do not want hair in my teeth! So I am not going to object to a well groomed man!

Courtney: I’m in 100% agreement with MG—but I do actually prefer a little lady hair in the vulva area. I think it’s sexy, so if someone were to tell me what to do with my pubic hair I would tell them to fuck off.

 

“How do you initiate a conversation about oral sex when you’ve performed it on your partner but they have yet to go down on you? – Eat This Flower 

Courtney: I’m pretty open and like to keep an open dialogue with my partners about our sex lives. When I have sex with a girl, generally going down on each other is what inevitably happens, but I also respect one’s desire to wait, so the last thing I would do is want to impose pressure. I think it’s all about communication and wanting to make each other feel pleasure in whatever way that works for the individual – so dialogue around that is very important for me.

Mary-Grace: I would most likely go about it in a roundabout way. Talking about how much I enjoy oral sex and love to have my partner go down on me, hoping they get the hint. I’m not especially patient so if that didn’t work I would be more blunt about it. If it’s not their thing, no judgment we just may no longer be together.

Alisha: I am terrible at this conversation! I generally will wait for them to go down on me before I go down on them. In our last article I mentioned that shoving one’s head downtown is not cool, so don’t do that! Ideally, I will stop what was going on and check in with the person and tell them how sexy I find it when a man eats me out.

 

“Why is it that talking about sex and sexuality is still taboo in most communities?” – Broken Sex-a-ma-phone 

Mary-Grace: I think one of the biggest reasons is an attempt to prevent children and youth from participating in sexual activities and exploring their sexuality. That if we don’t talk about it they won’t find out until their ‘old enough’. We all know that doesn’t work. The sex happens.

Alisha: I grew up in a home where we spoke about sex…a lot. It helped remove a lot of the stigma for me in talking about sex. That said, I get some really funny looks on TTC when I am on the phone with friends discussing my sexual escapades. I think it boils down to sex being viewed as “dirty” or “sinful”, or that it should be between two people that love one another, and it neglects how much fun and pleasurable sex can be!

Courtney: I think often sex is stigmatized and deemed dirty to maintain some type of control—there is the idea of keeping people in boxes (whether it is regarding sexuality, gender identity, ability, etc.). If we create open dialogue about sex, it is sometimes presumed that everyone is going to turn into promiscuous sluts. But again, what is wrong with that? With adequate sex education we can all fuck each other safely.

 

Remember, email us your questions and/or comments at: dialogsex@ gmail.com 

 

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Ménage à Trois: “Tits & Answers”